Kiril Kulish's Final Performance in Billy Elliot

If seeing Billy Elliot: The Musical was a dream come true, then seeing it the second time was nirvana.

Several weeks ago, it was announced that Kiril Kulish would give his final performance as one of the original Broadway Billys on the evening of Saturday, October 3. I could not miss the chance to see this special performance--not only because Kiril's autograph was the last one I needed to complete my collection, but because I think he was the best Billy. From clips I had seen before, I could tell that he was the superior dancer--a graceful, precise, and expressive performer. Kiril is truly quite a prodigy in many ways. So this was my sure chance to finally see him in the show and to get his autograph. I was only able to get a seat towards the back in the rear mezzanine, but really it wasn't too far from the stage because the theater isn't huge. It was also the cheapest seat I could get, same price as last time.

Thus, after the awesomeness of the Anime Festival the weekend before, I was poised to have yet another incredible and special weekend here in New York City. I was going to see my favorite musical again! I had been anticipating the event for weeks, and yet when Saturday October 3rd came around I had the strangest feeling that it came much too soon. It was very odd, I almost wished it could wait another week. Perhaps it was because I was still buzzing from the weekend before, or maybe I was fearful of the reality that, like all good things, it would quickly pass by in a flash with hardly a chance to take it in. The night came before I knew it, and I was powerless to stop the speed of life.

I grabbed some pizza around the corner from our apartment, and then dashed back home because I forgot, of all things, my ticket. I then rushed to the subway, arrived at Times Square which was as crowded as ever, and walked as briskly as possible to the theater. After waiting to get in with the rest of the mob of people, I found my seat and was pleased enough with the view, as I mentioned before. Then, before the show started, came the first surprise of the night: out of stage right walked none other than Stephen Daldry--the Oscar-nominated, Tony Award-winning director of the movie and musical Billy Elliot! "Oh my gawd," I uttered aloud. But I knew why he was there of course. He said some words of praise and goodwill for Kiril Kulish, "one of our original three Tony-Award winning Billys," announcing that this would be his final performance as Billy. It was a brief but heartfelt speech and it set the tone for the evening. The crowd cheered Stephen off the stage. On with the show!

Where do I even begin to describe this experience? I'm struggling to find the words. I think the best way to express my impressions is in thoughts, rather than a fluent paragraph:

-The show took on a whole new meaning because it was Kiril's last.

-A couple minutes into the show, the audience applauded when Billy first entered stage left, though he didn't yet say a word.

-The effects of puberty were evident in Kiril's raspy voice, try as he might to sound younger. He struggled to sing the higher parts of some songs, like the latter parts of "The Letter" and "Electricity," and sometimes used a slightly uncomfortable falsetto. This didn't distract from his performance. Rather, it was just another nuance that added to the poignancy of his final show and reminded us that Billy was growing up.

-The interactions of the characters felt genuine whether the scene was quiet or loud, calm or angry, joyous or sad. All the actors knew it was Kiril's night.

-Every moment was infused with a new emotional honesty--when Billy kissed his grandmother's hand, when Billy shared the letter from his late mother with Ms. Wilkinson, when Michael kissed him on the cheek, when he finally had to say goodbye to his brother, his dad, the memory of his mum, Ms. Wilkinson, and Michael.

-The sense of finality and nostalgia pierced me to the heart. I know exactly how Kiril felt that night. It was just like my final performance in the Little Theater at CDO High School. I felt so connected with him. My heart was filled with empathy and understanding. It was overwhelming.

-The story and the dialogue gained new emotional nuances as they echoed the very emotions Kiril was experiencing as a chapter in his life was coming to a close.

-You could tell he was giving everything he had for his final go. He was laying it all out on the stage. He danced with relentless passion and vibrancy. We, the audience, burst into uproarious applause with every finish. For his show-stopping (literally) number "Electricity" we gave him a deserved standing ovation. "Electricity sparks inside of me, and I'm free..."

-Kiril's performance moved beyond acting--it was a real and brutally honest farewell. This is what I mean by a "whole new meaning." When Billy said goodbye, he was really saying goodbye.

-Towards the end, when Billy's voice cracked and he started crying as he read his goodbye letter to the memory of his deceased mum, the tears and the pain on his face were absolutely real. I could see it on his face even from where I was sitting. He could hardly sing the words. "Love you forever..." And then...
"Bye, mum. See you soon."

"No, I don't think so. Do you?"

"No. Not really."

-In the final scene, when Billy and Michael have to say goodbye to each other as Billy leaves for Ballet School, instead of using their characters' names, Kiril and Keean changed the dialogue to truly heart-wrenching effect:

"See you, Keean..."

"See you, Kiril..."

I died right then and there. It killed me.

-Those final scenes were so powerful and poignant, I was heartbroken. It was like the entire truth of the universe was contained in that moment, or at least the entire truth of my life. I felt like I was up there with him, dying inside. It brought back to me all the mixed emotions I had when I had to say goodbye to the theater and start a new chapter in my sad little life.

-It's those cathartic and emotionally trascendent experiences that make everything else in life seem so utterly pointless. It made me question whether anything else has meaning or relevance to my own existence. And yet, I still return to the trifles of daily life. Why?

After the finale number and for the final curtain call, we gave one last exuberant standing ovation for Kiril Kulish. Then Greg Jbara took the stage and once again gave a little ode to Kiril and invited his family to the stage. Only Kiril's sister made it up there in time before the curtain closed again, though, because as it happens, his mother and brother were sitting way up in the row right in front of mine (I think it was them but don't quote me on this). Who the hell knew? I wonder why they sat so far away? Anyways, after a little bit, the curtain rose again and you could see the cast gathered on the stage around Kiril, taking turns giving him hugs, congratulations, and condolences. I tried to take pictures of this moment, but guess what about my camera?

Well, I gathered my stuff and exited the theater at the back to find a big mob of people crowded around the stage door, where I waited with everyone else for the chance to get Kiril's autograph. I saw Trent and Tommy again there, just as a random side note. I was sort of stuck far away from the actual door since the crowd was bigger than my previous experiences at the theater (that was to be expected on this particular occasion). After a few minutes, a sudden cheer erupted from the crowd as Kiril came out... of the door. (Haha, oh I crack myself up... ) The cameras started flashing and Kiril started signing autographs, greeting fans, and pausing for photos.

He appeared to be understandably overwhelmed by the mob and all the people vying for his attention. I mean, good lord, the kid just gave the performance of his life and his final one for the show. He'd been crying and he was no doubt emotionally exhausted. I wonder whether he was happy to soak in his Billy Elliot fame for one last time, or whether he just wanted to go home. I wouldn't blame him either way. It took a while for Kiril to make his way through the crowd and please everyone, but finally I got his attention and he signed my program for me. He/I couldn't say anything more than "Thank you so much" before he moved on to the next customer. He gradually made his way towards the street with his family, and the remaining crowd gave a final cheer for him as he got in a car across the street. I didn't even see him leave.

Oh, and guess who else popped out of the stage door after the crowds began to disperse? Stephen Daldry. Stephen freaking Daldry. I basically freaked out and then asked for his autograph. Stephen Daldry--Tony-winning, three-time Oscar-nominated director--signed my program. Yeah, bitches. He then walked away towards Times Square, strolling as if he were just any other guy walking down the streets of New York.

I took a series of photos outside the stage door, most of which look like crappy paparazzi shots or something, but I'll share a few with you. My circumstances were not conducive to getting in a picture with Kiril, about which I was exceedingly disappointed.

This gives you an idea of the mob that awaited Kiril outside the stage door:

Yeah, this is him:

Signing autographs for fans:

Voila, my souvenir program with my completed collection of autographs:

I also got some crappy videos to capture a few moments. I felt like a paparazzi:

To see some great photos (by Peter James Zielinski) of the final curtain call that very night, I encourage you to click here! They're awesome photos. You can even see the tears in Kiril's eyes. Breaks my heart.

Walking away from the theater that night, and riding alone in the subway, felt like walking away from a dream while half asleep. I spent the next two days in quietude, accomplishing nothing in particular, just wondering whether all of this other shit in my life is going to turn out to be worth it. Paying a hundred bucks to see a prodigy bare his soul on a stage one last time while I experience a soul-bending catharsis within my very being just by witnessing this transcendent act-- now that is worth it. That is the stuff of dreams. Hahaha! I laugh at everything else. I laugh because what the hell does anything mean compared to this? Incredible.

Well, folks, I might not be able to update my blog for a few weeks since I've got midterms coming up and I need to hit the books. You wouldn't really want to hear about that anyway, would you? Peace.